So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
