I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
