kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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