i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
worst night to have a conscience
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
