Swine flu is the new snow day.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
