just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
