Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
