Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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