so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
