Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
