my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How's work?
Spinning.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
