Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
