After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
