I think im going to throw up on grandma
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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