In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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