Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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