why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
