Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
