does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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