Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
