Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
