how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
