i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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