you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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