He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
