Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i think i have two assholes
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize