You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
