maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
