i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
