I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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