i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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