..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
