You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
