she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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