I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
