yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
