So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
