my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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