if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
