I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
PANTIES FOUND
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
