Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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