if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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