i'm lost and i look like a hooker
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize