no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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