That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
