dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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