You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
even my farts smell like vagina
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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