well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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