I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
