I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
