We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
