dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I want a musical about memes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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