You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
