maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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