I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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