i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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