I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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