Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
