Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
