dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She told me I should be a condom model.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize