omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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