Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
