Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
