I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just cropdusted the office
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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