I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
