Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
