he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
