I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
it was like eating out sand paper
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
