I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
