what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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