After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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