I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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