happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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