I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
