last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
