I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
